Just wanting to introduce myself, then get right to point.

Many have suspected husband has/had ADHD since childhood, large family so parents didn't seem to notice.  Husband then experienced brain injury 7 years ago and since then...downhill slide. We are in couples as well as individual therapy and he is officially diagnosed ADHD with other neurologic problems.  Dealing with him is like a drunk 5 year old on speed. He won't admit he even has ADHD, took him two years to agree to testing.

This has had a huge impact on my health, huge flares of autoimmune diseases, anxiety, neuropathy, etc. I was able to do my job from home until problems with husband continued to worsen. I gave in and resigned rather than being let go.  This is an employer I have been with 18 years and making great money, now I have no income.  Husband co-owns businesses with his brother and I feel more like husbands employee rather than wife.  Once a month he writes me a check and questions every penny I spend. I've never been frivolous with my money (separate accounts until I resigned) so why does he not trust me?

I planned on furthering my college education  but with autoimmune issues progressing, that's not going to happen this semester.  I also live in small community so no other jobs in my field. I feel stuck and so alone.  No one understands why I blame husband for everything but they don't see our real lives.  I hate to admit this, but husband has no anger (usually)  I am the angry one, I had dreams, goals, interests, friends...all gone because I gave it up to be with him or "help" him.  Now we can't carry on a conversation for 5 minutes before I feel bat s**t crazy.

Obvious option would be divorce, but I have no income, have already started selling a collection of things just to pay bills husband said he had. He also comes from a family that sticks up for their own, let's just say all other in family that got divorced, in laws ended up with NOTHING, no visitation for kids, name dragged through mud, kicked to street.

We see cOunsellor this week, but if husband won't admit ADHD and get treatment, I'm going to have to scream (of course, nothing new).  any words of encouragement/validation appreciated!