I'm 61 and have been in therapy for over 50 years. It didn't work.
I had no friends, had tics, was chronically depressed, creative, high intelligence - yet not doing well at school. Subsequentially, with work.
At 58 (after being fired from my last job) I was formally diagnosed with ADHD. Later, that was augmented to include OCD and Asperger's, along with mild NVLD.
Looking back, this explains why I could only hold a job for two years; and why 'standard' talk therapy didn't help.
So - I'm now receivng disability benefits, but I'd really like to work (yes, I know that may be an unreasonable request in this economy, but I've had a lot of successes over the years and have strong letters of recommendation). Unfortunately, all I know is what I can't do - my entire past 40 years in IT middle management and management consulting and IT auditing and IT Governance... I'm not very good with people or picking up social cues, it takes me too long to complete a project because I REALLY get into it (hyperfocus + Obscession) - so billable time charged to a client isn't reasonable.
The system (Social Security / Vocational Rehabilitation Services / ...) does well with placing someone in a mailroom, but they're at a complete loss with someone like me. I'm only one (maybe more vocal than most) of the many people who are discovering the reasons for their horrific employment record towards the end of their career. We didn't know! Now we do.
So when we're (I'm generalizing here, but also speaking from personal experience) asked by someone trying to get us work, "What would you like to do?", all I can think of is what I was doing before -- with some caveats. I shouldn't be management and my hours shouldn't be chargeable to a client. My projects should be short term with someone to make sure I hadn't gone off on an interesting tangent.
The Social Security administration works with providers to help clients find work. They can provide unique tax incentives to the employer, and possibly pay all or part of the salary for a period of time. The provider facilitates this process by having the internal contacts in a company, or a Yellow Pages (they're essentially making cold calls, selling you).
I've looked very, very hard; made appropriate phone calls and sent letters -- all confirming the fact that the current providers are unable to find us similar work, nor can they suggest alternatives. This is true for New York and New Jersey; maybe it's different elsewhere.
Since one of the main conflicts in a relationshp is money: earning it, saving it, spending it -- this is a solvable (I think) problem that is not being addressed because of lack of incentives to the providers (possibly) to come up to speed on the 'hard cases', or it may be easier for the government to let us collect disablity and hope we'll go away. The money is taxed as income, anyway.
The situation is adversely affecting our relationships with our significant other and no apparent interest and support (in any meanngful way) from CHADD or ADDA.
So - can anyone suggest a next step? Who should be contacted and by what organizatons? Individuals don't appear to have enough political pull.
Although posted in the Resources' forum, this topic is really about the lack of same. And I'm grateful for any help offered.