Non-ADHD Partner is "not cleaning as much"

My wife and I have different energy levels. This is established. When I clean, its not perfect but I work till I drop. When my wife cleans - she cleans like you're getting your teeth cleaned - thorough. but she doesn't clean often. I pick up for us, pick up some of her stuff, and I have to remember she does the appointment making, bookkeeping, child disciplining, etc. 


The fact she doesn't put her dishes in the dishwasher, SHOULDN'T drive me crazy but does. I keep on his NEGATIVE kick and forget how loving my wife is.