Not sure where o ask this - Anxiety and how it relates to thinking and ADD

I am new to this forum - have seen Melissa at a talk in Toronto recently and my wife having suggested I read the book, and  I am diagnosed Add.  I recently threw a bombshell into my married life and incredibly, my wife still wants to work on things.  My biggest problem seems to be a maladaptive coping strategy of avoidance.  I have been to see too many different therapists jumping around due to finance issues (looking for quick fix) but there are some things I learned that ring true.  I have a fast paced (and I should say biased) internal dialog that has poisoned my mind with resentment for a very good women.  Top that off with not wanting to confront issues (avoid confrontation) and here I am.

So - In this time of strife and high anxiety, I have trouble thinking deeply about my relationship and seeing/feeling value in my marriage and even in my family.  My mind goes into fibrillation when confronted with personal issues and I shut down.  Is that ADD or Anxiety?  What can I do about that?

Can I be defibrillated?