Recently my spouse was preaching to me about the great strides he has made in reducing his spending.

I am the bookkeeper, with full access to both business and personal accounts.

For the first time ever, i did not reply with my usual weak comment about putting a bit more focus on prioritizing purchases beforehand, to which he would give the usual cursory assent and proceed to do just exactly as he pleases, unilaterally breaking the bank. This time, with all of the power vested in me by my filed papers for legal separation, i calmly and gently listed the hundreds of dollars which he had withdrawn from his personal account over the past few weeks. Eyebrows up, he demanded to know why...  (why i was checking his personal acct. but then his voice trailed off, like, o yeah, she manages all the bills and deposits my checks.).  Then. He. Said.   : What do you think I spent it on?!?

translated:  "you cannot tell or prove how i used that money, so naaa naaa nah boo boo "

Then:   "how much do you have in your account?!!?"

And i said,   "Nunya."

First time ever. I knew my rights and enforced them. 

Counseling is good!!