The only way I can bring up his not working is by being sarcastic!

I just don't know what else to do to get through to him! If I try to approach it civilly, like a few nights ago I said to him that I NEED him to go to work and make money, his response was not "Yes I'm sorry and I will do that from now on" or actually talk to me about what the problem is but it was "I'm going to be a monk and move up into the mountains". It's just all fun and games!  I KNOW he's been lying to me about going to work but he sure won't admit to it. Like yesterday when I got home I was really quiet and withdrawn and maybe he thought I knew he wasn't going to work but then tries to make everything all lovey dovey to get me to snap out of it. He'll start giving me lame excuses as to why he doesn't go to work. His back hurt that morning, he had indigestion, he didn't sleep well, etc. When I don't snap out of it then he starts getting all pissed off and saying "What's up your butt, what's your deal lately"? Then if I say to him "Do you ever plan on working a 40 hour week again?" or "Are you even going to work when you leave the house?" then I'll get an angry response back of "I need time to clear my head! Things are not going well lately. My daughter doesn't want anything to do with me, my high school friend just died, I hate my job so being at work is not something I can handle right now okay?!". And I am supposed to go "Oh my love I am SO sorry I was upset. I don't know what I was thinking. You are right, your life is really bad right now and there is NO reason you should have to go to work on top of it. You take all the time you need to get your life together and you just let me know when you will be going to work and contributing to the household. In the meantime I will go to my full time job and also do freelance work from home to make ends meet!"

So approaching it gently gets me some absurd, silly response and then being straight out sarcastic with him just gets him angry and I should understand the hell he's going through and apologize for my actions!