Hi, I am new to this forum. I was in tears last night as I read all of these posts. I am so exhausted by my husband's ADD. We have been together 15 years and have 2 young boys ages 3 and 6. hubby was Dx with ADD in November. I am a Social Worker who is working in a different field right now but I have been a family psychotherapist. Funny how you can sometimes more easily help as an outsider what you can't change as an insider! Anyhow...I want to get some ideas about how ADD affects parenting. It is affecting our relationship...which I know the children feel. My 6 year old (a sweet, intelligent, gent;e child...normally) started telling hubby that he doesn't have to do what Daddy says because Mommy is smarter than Daddy anyway. I am noticing that the boys will use communication patterns that Hubby uses with me...will not answer verbally when spoken to, will say "I'm coming" when I call but take the scenic route, will walk away in the middle of talking because they thought you were done, uses inappropriate humor in delicate social situations. Now I know some of this is age appropriate (but knowing that makes me feel like my Hubby is 6 years old as well!) But I notice they do it much more when Hubby is around or after spending the day alone with him. What is learned behavior? What is age appropriate? And what is childhood ADD showing up as a genteic inevitability? Both my boys are super smart...my 6 is doing work 2 grades above him and my 3 year old writes his name, does multiplication in his head and is a general physical force of nature. I am overwhelmed by trying to focus on what they need and raise them...I don't have the energy to parent my Hubby as well...he's been unemployed for 2 out of the last 3 years...none of that happened BEFORE children...he was always working...but after children his ADD became such an enormous factor in our lives I am not sure I can hold it all together anymore. I need to know how ADD will affect being a parent...besides the obvious inability to multi-task, organize or plan. How does it affect how the children learn social skills? How they model what Daddy does and does not do? They see Mommy running around like a maniac trying to do 2 jobs, organize the household and being generally a ragged mess so that daddy can stay home and play with them all day. When I ask them "what do you want to be when you grow up" they say "a Daddy!" Of COURSE!!! Being this kind of Daddy looks like fun! They are developing a terrible work ethic because they see daddy...not working, fun, boyish...and compare it to mommy...working, cranky, stressed, short tempered...who would YOU choose to model after??? It worries me terribly and I don't know if I have the strength to be who I would NEED to be in order to counteract this particular constant influence in their lives. Hubby would be GREAT for them if he was a Big Brother...but...as a Dad...his example does not help them develop certain attitudes and skills necessary for life. If her were worling and out of the house for 8 ours a day...we could balance it...it would be ENJOYABLE to see his fun-loving way with the children. But he's the one out of work and with them 24/7 while I try to support us all. We are in forclosure and going into bankruptcy...it's just not working and my boys are going to have to pay the price.