So Great On The Outside

I've been with my husband for over 15 years. We met in college and married 5 years later. We had similar nerdy habits (reading, documentaries) and he was very into me. For years before and after we were married we fought very little. He was diagnosed with ADHD at a very young age and took medication. Our disagreements tended to be around him not doing whatever it was he was supposed to do, and he promised to get help but over and over quits whatever it is he attempts. He is very loving and completely co-dependent. He is very sweet and will do anything to make me happy, he is literally the nicest person. However, he is also clingy and needy and needs all the typical ADHD things-- constant reminders, forgets where we are going, can't make or keep appointments, can't pay bills etc. Until about 4 years ago we worked separate schedules (he was under employed in retail) and had separate lives (mine social his just work and video games). We had our first child and he changed to a 9-5 job.We now had to spend a LOT of quality time together. After our son got old enough to not need constant attention, it became more and more apparent that perhaps we never had a real emotional connection. My husband has little to no social skills with me or other people. He literally has never had a friend and it is almost painful to talk with him now-- I feel so very alone. I've felt for years myself pulling away. I know the constant daily irritations of living with anyone with ADHD, but what is really pulling me is the lack of emotional connection. Is it possible for him to develop this? His mere obsession isn't enough-- I long to laugh or enjoy a conversation with him. On the outside we look like a happy family (2 kids now) and he does a LOT around the house, allows me to go out with friends etc. but I feel so alone. We are in counseling, where he found out he's codependent but I really don't see him taking charge of his behavior and creating coping mechanisms for his ADHD-- he thinks going to counseling means he's trying. But I wonder if the root of this (because I understand he's ADHD and his behavior isn't a reflection of his feelings for me) is his lack of social skills and inability to create meaningful relationships. I'm feeling so lost and confused. If I stay am I dooming myself to a place where my physical needs are mostly met (in an ADHD and emotionally exhausting way) but with a parent-child relationship with no emotional connection. Anyone else feel this way?