I posted for the first time here 6 days ago. Sorry I didn't get back to the couple of people who posted back but had a chest infection and been laid up. One reply was from someone in a relationship experiencing life with an ADHD partner,not yet with a legal commitment (i.e. marriage) and as yet no children...right or wrong my advice would be to get out now. Time and certainly children will not make things better,just a whole lot worse. There will be more emotions that you see he cannot tune into to your satisfaction, if you are willing to sacrifice your life and happiness to stay with him just go in with your eyes open.
As I mentioned I've been quite ill and in bed. My husband was annoyed that the Dr didn't prescribe and "fix" me. The Dr said I needed rest,plenty to drink and regular paracetamol etc.On Saturday my husband stayed in bed until 10.00,as he is often on the internet until the early hours. I had been coughing and feeling awful and dragged myself downstairs to get a drink. Eventually he got up and was straight to the computer..around 2pm I shouted for him..no answer,I had my mobile so I called his number..he answered straight away..I asked for a drink and did get one..when I did the same at 7pm he took longer to reply but was annoyed that the Dr had not "given me anything" and wanted to take me to the Emergency room...I pointed out what the Dr had said and that what I needed was a little T.L.C. to help me get better..in short he didn't want to put any effort in himself he just wanted to get me fixed. It's exhausting always having to spell out what I need,then sometimes still being ignored. The love I did have is slowly being crushed out of me and I feel I need to look out for myself.
He always goes back to USA in the summer for 8 weeks,I used to miss him and feel so lonely,now I look forward to it and hope he finds something to keep him over there. Strangely when over in the States he will phone every day..but this is after 5pm his time it is late in the UK. I've told him not to as it disturbs my sleep but he takes no notice,he's full of what he's done and never asks about me (even when 2 yrs ago I had a breast lump and had been to the hospital for a mamogram..that day he didn't phone!! and never asked how I'd got on).I feel more and more that separation is the best future for me. Better to be truly on my own than on my own in a relationship...well that isn't a relationship anyway. Just need to know how to start as he will definitely stick his head in the sand..he did that with his first wife. I'm resisting contacting her for advice.