Stress!

My husband and step son (7yrs) have ADHD (not on medication). I have a son (8yrs) with anger problems and a one year old baby. I am a stay home mom and I am in working on my Bachelors. I am a very clean organized person, however my family is very messy and unorganized (I feel like a maid) My husband works 7 days a week, 12 hours a day. (late hours and weekends by choice) We are very much in debt to say the least. My husband has a big problem managing money. We have been together for 7 years, I am starting to feel like our marriage is turning into a mother son relationship. I feel like the only adult in the home, I am tired of it. I am becoming less attracted to my husband because I am starting to see him as nothing more than a big kid when it comes to his behavior. I can not have and adult conversation with him about anything! I could go on and on about the many problems in our marriage (I could right a book) however for time sake I will keep it short. I am 31yrs, my husband is 27yrs. I feel like I have matured and he hasn't. I need a man for a husband not a big kid! I try to talk to him about it but it seems to be pointless (like talking to a child). He has cheated multiple times in the past (online mostly, once in person) now I have major trust issues as well. I love him, he is a very loving and works hard but I feel very disconnected to him, when I try to talk with him about my feelings it seem to go in one ear and out the other, like I'm talking to a wall. I am about to give up. We went to marriage counseling about 9 months ago (last time he cheated) but he quite because he couldn't handle sitting and talking. I very much want to stay a family and raise my daughter in the same home with both her parents but I don't want to find myself 20 years down the road wishing I would have cut my losses along time ago. My husband is not on medication (his choice). I guess I'm just venting, any feed back would be great, I know I am not alone in this type of situation but it feels like I am.