The dweeb called me yesterday (us being long distance) in the best mood he has been in since work spiralled and he had a three weeks of utter ADHD overwhelm which resulted in him calling me so screamingly angry he almost always hung up in frustration.
Let me emphasise - it was never, ever at me. I was mostly worried for his distress.
He had been reflecting on what he knows about anxiety (as close as he can get to admitting he is crippled by it), where he went wrong and partaking in a lot of exercise to balance out his poorer coping tactics (un medicated is hard).
At one point in this exploration he stopped and very suddenly turned and thanked me for realising his anger was not about me, for understanding he simply couldn't keep it in and not being scared (I gave him advice on good things to punch), for not lecturing him on suddenly drinking too much and simply letting him start to process sans judgement or pressure to act.
He then dodged off into a short tangent about the fact he values that I don't get into screaming matches with him, even if we disagree. For not triggering his worst behaviour and anxiety and his inner 'parent dynamic' (his parents are a warning poster for bad, undiagnosed ADHD relationships), which he has spent a decade fighting off.
Oh, and thanks for a hilarious 20 pairs of cheap heart shaped glasses for cheering (my one intervention I allowed myself).
I was not expecting any of that. But well.. it gives me joy.