If I had posted last week, this would not have been a story of hope. My ADD sweetie came home from therapy Thursday night announcing she was going to go to Cleveland (from Boston) to see her dad the next day before getting on a plane today to fly to Israel. Her therapist was fully supportive of this idea and had even gone online to check bus and plane schedules. According to my sweet friend, her therapist also said that if I really loved her that I would support her need to go see her dad. The most painful part of this for me was that I was completely shut out of the process. Nothing except unconditional support was accepted and anything less than that was seen as obstructive and unloving. For about 18 hours we spun in this morass. Finally I went to our community garden to get out of the way of her crazy steps to get on a bus. While at the garden I prayed. It was there that I was able to see that both of us were hurt and scared. My mind and heart quieted enough to find my own perspective in the situation instead of fighting against my partner's and the therapist's. My sweetheart always gets anxious before traveling and her trip to Israel is the first solo international trip she's ever taken. Her anxiety about having to see her 96 year-old healthy father before flying half way around the world (when we just saw him in April and could/will see him again later in July) seemed to me to be an all-out panic attack. On top of that my loved one has a tendency to live on perpetual credit card debt. Over the last 14 years we've carefully gotten her budget under control and while Israel was within the budget, a last-minute trip to Cleveland was not. After three hours in the garden I calmed down enough to feel like I could head home and face whatever decision my partner had made. Not surprisingly, she was having a hard time finding transportation that seemed reasonable. Luckily she was not willing to spend $1000 to go. In my calmer state I was able to be supportive of her struggle. As we sat with the difficulty, I found myself talking about the anxiety that she faces every time she travels and how I was wondering if this need to go to Cleveland might be a panic attack. I could feel the energy change immediately. Her face became softer, her eyes less frantic. "There might be some truth to that," she said quietly. I'm re-living the feeling of relief I experienced as I type. From there we proceeded forward - together not opposed. I just got back from taking her to the airport. She was on time! In fact, I only had to provide assistance when figuring out how to use the travel cell phone and the logistics of baggage sizes and check-in procedures! I think you'll understand when I say I am so looking forward to the next ten days alone. I love her to pieces, but, I need a rest from ADD.