Uh oh. Now What?

Okay, now I'm hanging in mid-air.  Here's the story. Although my husband has been diagnosed with ADHD, he still gives very little validity to the diagnosis. He is convinced he is in control of everything, but acts like a complete jerk because of ADHD related behaviors..ie: only thinks of himself, terrible at prioritizing, late for dinner every night, doesn't get things done on time, spends a ridiculous amount of time at work while I stay home with two in diapers and a seven year old, watches tv or plays on his phone the majority of the time he IS home (which is rarely), is unreasonable about the things the children need, doesn't consider me, hates to have to listen to me, doesn't like to make any concrete solutions for things, etc. etc... We have been to different kinds of couples counselling for years, talk therapy, have had many tearful "ah ha!" moments, where he's sworn he'll never hurt me like this again blah-blah-blah. I have begged him to read the ADD stuff and he gets really irritated with how much I talk about it, although he has talked about the most mundane subjects possible (like weather, money and a TREE in our backyard for 5 years!) Anyway, although he really HAS made an effort, it's still so hard to be utterly ignored and treated like the last thing on earth that has any value.  He has an appointment on Tuesday to get medication (Not because HE wants it, but because I said he had to, or I was leaving. By the way, I have ADD too, and am on medication.) So, in a perfect world I would have just waited for that appointment, but the other night as I was yet again taking care of our whole family, he popped in from work for dinner. He then LIED to me that he had a client appreciation night and that he had to go out. It finally came out that he was actually going to a hockey game with his friend who GET THIS wanted to show him his appreciation for the RELATIONSHIP ADVICE my husband had been giving him! I almost vomited, blew into a million pieces and ripped his face off at the same time! All the years of being taken for granted, bending myself into a pretzel to accomodate him, yet still take care of the children, all of the PAIN came rushing to the surface and I knew I couldn't cry myself to sleep again that night. When he left for the hockey game, I bundled up the children and went to my best friend's house....where we've been for the last two days. Now I have NO idea what to do. I want him to leave the house so we can come back. I am a stay at home mom, and have raised these kids, thus far, largely alone (He works 6 days and is gone 3-4 nights a week.) He has always refused to leave in the past though, and I don't know WHAT to do. Maybe his medication, should he still choose to take it, will create a miracle, but I need SPACE TO HEAL and the children don't need to live in the tension.  Help!