Why am I always wrong….


This will be my second post on here and I'm still not sure how to bring the thought storm in my head to paper.  So I apologize for any confusion. 

So I have ADHD, which is basically concert hall of thought and distraction in my head.  It sucks. It's depressing. It's been a life long, and only recently identified, torture of being judged and then disregard with the trash. 

So I apologize a lot and for everything.  I apologize for my mistakes which I should.  I always apologize for not agreeing with an idea, getting out of bed early, going to bed later than I'm told, for having a deep voice, facial expression that people don't like (I have Resting bitch face and I owe apologies it seems). I have never in my life felt so worthless.  Am I that much of a screw up.  Is this all my fault like I've been told.  I mean my own mother says I'm evil and have a demon inside me, even though I have never been in trouble, hold down a great job and support anyone's I can. 

I just don't know.  I try so hard to be my best, but no matter how many positive and help things I do, all anyone wants to tell me about is my every failing. 

i just don't know. 

im sorry for my ramblings