I am beginning to get very scared about our older years, which are fast approaching.
I'm concerned about my husband's spending, secrets about spending, and ADHD.
He purchased a sports car (3rd car) on a whim (like he purchases everything), and I think we've driven it fewer than 10 times since he got it 2.5 years ago. I know he still owes on it. He purchased an expensive riding mower around the same time, one that breaks down every other time he uses it. Problem? In addition to the fact that he rides it like it's a bucking bronco, he bought the the wrong mower for our property. The mower can't handle all of our tree roots, wetlands, lumpy terrain, and all of the branches and twigs and everything else he plows over with it.
Our finances are separate because of his ADHD, and I know very little about his finances. As he ages, I am beginning to worry about his debt, which he has been very secretive about. I've asked a few questions, but I have no real answers.
I know I'm all over the place here. I am taking a week off of work next month to organize our disasters of a basement and garage. . . because for 5 years my husband (retired) has been "organizing," which, if you have an ADHD spouse, you know how that works. Both areas are colossal clusters of mounds of things. Whenever I'm missing an important paper (like a car title), I find it in the basement (which is nearly impossible to walk around) among mounds of junk.
I'm so tired. I'm so tired of having to "take charge" of everything and then get called a "control freak." He can't follow a map (by phone, car GPS, or paper), so anytime we drive somewhere we're not familiar with--or, in his case, a route we've taken numerous times--the trip ends up with screaming. He acts helpless.
I'm tired of the worry, which is increasing. If my husband would go before me, I don't know what kind of colossal mess I would be left to deal with; if I go before him, there is no way he would be able to deal with my paperwork, my things, etc. He literally called me at work a few weeks ago because he didn't know how to turn on my computer (WHAT????). I tried walking him through it and he got frustrated and gave up. What the hell is the matter with him??? I know I have to make some kind of arrangements.
If I had the money to leave him tomorrow, I would. But it would take me 2 years to sort through all of the junk everywhere. What have I done? And why?
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