I just heard this term the other day and have found that there are articles about it in The Guardian, Vogue, the New York Times, and Vice Magazine.
Apologies in advance to any men here. I'm sure there are men out there who do this with women, but I'm prone to believe this is a cultural thing that normally goes one way.
It hit me hard, because I think as women "caring for" men with ADHD (particularly untreated ADHD) this is exactly what we have been doing. Little did I know that what they call "mankeeping" stretches well beyond partnering with a man with issues (not that we as women do not suffer with ADD/ADHD, depression, or other problems).
A quick AI overview:
Mankeeping is the unpaid emotional and logistical labor women perform to maintain a male partner's social life, mental health, and external relationships.
The term was coined by researchers to describe how women often act as default social secretaries and emotional buffers for men, who frequently lack deep support networks due to the "male friendship recession."
Core Components of Mankeeping
- Social Organizing: Remembering family birthdays, buying gifts for his relatives, and scheduling double dates with friends.
- Emotional Gatekeeping: Serving as his exclusive therapist, emotional outlet, and primary source of mental health support.
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Relationship Maintenance: Forcing him to call his parents or keeping tabs on his workplace conflicts so he does not alienate others.
This is a cultural thing. It's reported that more and more women are just giving up altogether on having romantic/lifelong relationships with men because of the burden of TAKING CARE OF EVERYTHING.
I can tell you, every one of my single, widowed, divorced female friends over the age of 50 has stayed single.
