Recent forum posts (all topics)

Just a quick post about treatment. The Wellbutrin I'm on ( 150mg ) was working for a while but seemed lose effectiveness.  Going down the depression checklist, I have all the symptoms ( literally all ) except suicidal thoughts which I've never had. I tried upping my dose to the maximum  ( 300mg ) but that only seemed to produce side effects of ramping up irritability and insomnia which is actually making things worse. What keyed me in were the feelings of hopelessness. That's when I double checked the depression checklist and realized there's been a change. This has been especially apparent since I've been on vacation so work stress was no longer the reason. Going back to work today feeling much the same as I did when I started. I have an appointment next week with my doctor and going to request a visit with a psychiatrist for a full evaluation and recommendation for a different medication or combination of meds: thinking, possibly Zoloft and Wellbutrin combined as Zoloft has worked great in the past.

Anyway, depression is a sneaky thing and can creep up on you if you aren't paying attention to it.

"Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is a condition that causes people to experience extreme emotional pain when they feel rejected, criticized, or fail. It's characterized by exaggerated reactions to rejection, such as:  

Having negative self-talk  

Having difficulty managing reactions  

Having a constant need for validation  

Adopting perfectionistic tendencies  

Feeling embarrassed or self-conscious  

Having low self-esteem and self-doubt  

Having sudden outbursts of emotions like anger, tears, and sadness  

Trigger warning: I'm in a lot of pain and seething in anger. I'm looking for a vent and hopefully if someone can share their experience and I can feel less alone. That's all - this is not an attack on all ADHDers or even just one (like my spouse) but I am really done with what ADHD symptoms have done to my life in all its many shapes and forms. 

This is something I wonder about. Doesn't an often distracted person somehow need to be extra affirmative of others? At work I'm constantly approached by coworkers and have to produce decisions for them in the middle of doing something else. I feel since I act confused and indecisive when my thoughts are interrupted, make mistakes and then change my mind that I need to be extra kind to the people who put up with it. 

ADHD people close to me are naturally even more distracted. I find I quickly lose patience with them since they don't really try to compensate for it.

and ask the horse.....

We had an incident happen the other day that really broke things open ( again ). This time, I was totally winging it and probably did a whole bunch of things wrong. The end result however,  was creating an open conversation and dialogue about multiple topic including: sex ( or lack of ), belittling and crticizing, control issues, backseat driving, and creating a couple of hand signals and cue words all at one time.

Been quiet on here lately as I have found myself in the void. That void of not wanting to 'rock the boat' by bringing up issues and trying to solve them... but knowing deep down that I'm living in a way that I don't want to. Today was a bad day for my spouse - mentally.

I had something happen the other night that really broke things open for me. It allowed me to address some hidden anger I've been carrying around with me for quite some time. I thought this might be interesting to share as well.

Can't trust non ADHD husband after his lies and behaviour

I'm reflecting on the amount of real life current stories I hear about marriages turning out more or less like mine, acquaintances, same age span, with undiagnosed but suspiciously alike husbands. Silent avoidant men with some eccentricity, depression, anxiety and little visible action about them. Frustrated sad stressed out women. 

I've decided I am "done" with my partner. I've been trying, but he isn't taking his meds and he isn't communicating anymore. He is going to therapy, but I don't know what it is that he is working on. He started seeing a psychologist over stress at his job. The stress is partly because he decided to say something impulsive at work which got him into trouble. Except now, they are holding him accountable more regularly, and as a result, he is reacting to it and doing what he can to shift the blame back to them. I do know they talk about personal things, but I'm not sure how much.