Recent forum posts (all topics)

Today my world fell apart! My ADHD husband has basically lost everything we own and most likely have to declare bankruptcy. He has been lying about his business and our own personal finances and has dug himself and  our family into a black hole.

At 55 years I will have nothing. I was stupid enough to leave the finances to him as he always moved things around and knew what money was coming in based on the business. He never paid himself a weekly salary. 

How have you all felt about your self worth during and after ADHD marriage?

These days I'm slowly recovering my old self, preferences, self respect, interests. It's been a long journey. For months after divorce I felt like discarded waste. Returning to an - admittedly old and battered - version of the young optimistic me is an emotional and delicate process.

What happened to you? Could you keep important things in your life during the marriage? Have you been able to prioritize yourself in an ADHD family?

Okay, I know I should be just leaving.  But Mr. ADHD is now trying.  And he's trying so hard, he really is.    But he can't do anything right.  I feel like a jerk telling him all the time, but his efforts are just not good enough.  I am literally in the midst of a panic attack about it right now.  

I know I keep bringing up OCD in connection to my SO and I realize I have no expertise on this subject. I really don't know how to differentiate the nuances and comorbitity of all the possible combinations of things that a person could have as well as ADHD. Or for that matter, all the overlaps and shared symptoms and which thing is which. I simply don't know.

But I do talk to her and ask questions about what I observe when there's no conflict and emotions are low. I'm simply curious so I can better understand. 

This first year after ADD divorce is almost over. Thank you friends on the forum for supporting me through it. 

To all who consider divorce, here's some hope from this perspective. It's like I recently told a longtime friend who's reappeared: I rise like a bubble now.

After having felt for many years a constant tug downward, into depression and burnout, and an all-encompassing pessimism, this bubble quality is almost to good to be true.

I had a flashback to a story I was told in therapy years ago and it suddenly made perfect sense to me now.

Vent of exhaustion by a non-ADHD partner

This won't be a long post. I finally dug down deep enough to find what's been truly affecting me ( the most ). It is, the underlying cause for the RSD I've been experiencing.

"Taking away sex from a man can make him feel a range of emotions including unwanted, rejected, unloved, frustrated, resentful, and insecure; essentially, a lack of physical intimacy can significantly impact a man's self-esteem and emotional well-being, especially if it's a consistent pattern within a relationship.  

Key points to consider:  

Emotional connection:

Just a quick post about treatment. The Wellbutrin I'm on ( 150mg ) was working for a while but seemed lose effectiveness.  Going down the depression checklist, I have all the symptoms ( literally all ) except suicidal thoughts which I've never had. I tried upping my dose to the maximum  ( 300mg ) but that only seemed to produce side effects of ramping up irritability and insomnia which is actually making things worse. What keyed me in were the feelings of hopelessness. That's when I double checked the depression checklist and realized there's been a change. This has been especially apparent since I've been on vacation so work stress was no longer the reason. Going back to work today feeling much the same as I did when I started. I have an appointment next week with my doctor and going to request a visit with a psychiatrist for a full evaluation and recommendation for a different medication or combination of meds: thinking, possibly Zoloft and Wellbutrin combined as Zoloft has worked great in the past.

Anyway, depression is a sneaky thing and can creep up on you if you aren't paying attention to it.