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(Edited)

I remember Melissa telling the story of when her husband first tried ADHD meds specifically stimulants if I remember correctly. Recalling that he almost right away knew they were not right for him. I understand this fron my own experience trying Strattera, non-stimulant medication.  After not to long a time, not only did it not feel like it was doing anything, I had this really uncomfortable side effect that made me feel ( as I put it ) "not like myself". It was the strangest feeling, almost out of body,  but I knew right away this was not the drug for me.

Currently I'm trying to make a decision whether to go back on Adderall ( or any medication ) solely for the fact, that stressor from work and work in general have caused a change where I'm not able to get as much sleep and excersise as I was while I wasn't working full time. Diet, excersise and sleep were my go to's for ADHD management and were working fairly well by themselves.

Without being in a relationship and working full time, these natural ways to helping mitigate my ADHD symptoms comes with one distinct advantage I've found: when you're taking drugs ( any drugs ) you're altering your bodies natural homeostasis. 

If you have a drink, you're changing aspects about yourself compared to when you are completely sober. Different aspect of your personality emerge and other are subdued. This is true of any drug you'd take including ones that target ADHD symptoms.

What I really noticed when I stopped taking Adderall, is a return of everything I remembered from the past....all the good and bad, whether I liked it or not.

After some time, I realized however....even the bad like depression or anxiety do serve a purpose.  Just like any other emotion or feeling, these things are road signs that tell you what to do.

Myself on Adderall is in essence, my drugged self. Different aspect of my personality emerge and others are subdued. Even if it's working to target some symptoms successfully....not every symptom is addressed and a couple are even made worse. I tend to talk more on Adderall for example,  which is not actually always helpful.  I talk enough all by myself with any outside help!

By changing my bodies natural homeostasis, you also get robbed of some of your natural feelings and senses. Anytime you start changing one thing like this, it effects everything including what you do ( or not do ), decisions you might make and probably a short list of other things that are all listed under one umbrella. 

So the decision to go back is actually more complicated as I originally thought?

I know Dr Russell Barkley is adamant that no amount of "trying harder" is going to make a difference....medication is absolutely the way to go.

On the other hand, my first prescriber for Adderall said, that most of her patients stop taking Adderall after a while, as they report that it did what it needed to do, and they can take it from there. ( Paraphrasing)

I don't know? 

I feel like the only reason to take it now is so I'm still functioning on all 8 cylinders when I get home from work but, if I take it too late in the day, I tend to skip dinner and stay up too late which both interfere with the diet and sleep aspect of treatment.  Argh! What to do? 

Sleep and excersise are my #1 and #2 most effective treatments but I so tired when I come home from work that I normally pass out early leaving my girlfriend by herself for the rest of the evening which really bothers me as well as her at times. Adderall would certainly take care of that in short order. I was able to stay awake,  be attentiive and focused longer than I ever normally did when I wasn't taking it.

I feel like this a kind of Catch 22.

J

My wife is currently undergoing assessment for ADHD. Prior to this she out of the blue ended our relationship and has threatened divorce 4 times.

After our first couples therapy appointment with a new therapist I was left feeling really hopeless and I'm wondering if she's the wrong fit or if it's just me not wanting to change?

Is it possible to reignite whatever was there?

Guys, it's been one of those days...neither me or my diagnosed spouse had a good sleep, we are both under stress and he committed to plans but then changed them and did not communicate them to me. Which then led to me trying to go about the day to the plans that we made, only to find out - and have a tension filled spat in front of our son - that he changed his mind and then tried to push back and point the finger at me for my frustrations...when he won't acknowledge his role. So once again I have to pick up the pieces of his mess.

Am I being fair to ADHD Spouse?

I don't think it will ever get better :(

My husband and I have had the same system for our finances for about ten years now.  We put all of our income into our joint checking account and each week an allowance of $30.00 is transferred to our own personal checking accounts.  This becomes our personal money that we can spend on whatever we want without question.  My husband just received two bonuses through his job, one for several hundred dollars and one for a couple thousand dollars.

Does anyone have a good response for when your ADHD Spouse uses having ADHD as an excuse?

My spouse and I are in the middle of buying a house. They were upset with me because I left a blank document that needed to be filled out at work for a day even though she takes much longer than that and needs me to remind them of basic things like getting paystubs and submitting expense reimbursements routinely and regularly and then uses ADHD as an excuse.

How do you guys manage to stay level headed with an adhd partner? I've struggled so much with mine we've been on and off and have gone through horrible fights. I have called it quits many times before but I do love him and am the only one who cares about his adhd and being understanding.

 One other question.. does anyone else's adhd partner find it hard to accept responsibility, they instead blame you or anyone else but themselves when they're wrong?