Recent forum posts (all topics)

A topic for discussion came up recently with other Nons and that is the level of grief work that you/us should do - actually BOTH parties probably need to do - but how do I actually DO it? Like, how do I sit in it? Do I allow myself to cry? Do I try to cry in the evenings when I have time? (Although now that I've typed out that sentence it makes me smile/laugh because I can't really 'DO' grief, it just has to happen) 

I recently read something on social media that really resonated with me. Knowing what I know about having ADHD, I'm aware that I can be challenging at times to live with. ADHD symptoms, unmitigated,  can definitely negatively impact people around me and it's really easy to blame yourself for everything you know you do that causes others to pull away. For me, intuitively, Ive known this going back to my childhood on some level buy could never put finger on exactly why?

Hi all. I'm going to start just by giving some context. I am the one with ADHD here. I heard about the book sometime last year on Reddit. Ended up buying it sometime in the Fall after (or during) a fight, looking to see if this was one step in the right direction. It did take me a while to get to it and to actually finish it. I had a lul about halfway thru reading it. I was able already to use some strategies on my end like suggesting cue words and such along the way though, which helped a fair bit in at least resolving a couple conflicts.

My un-diagnosed ADHD wife of over 20 years just announced (out of the blue) that she was leaving me and served me divorce papers the next day.

Non ADHD partner feeling unloved

Just curious on the experiences here of the Nons and the type of work they did on themselves - I'm really struggling and feeling overwhelmed on what type of work I should do; read the Boundar Boss again and do all the workbooks at the end? Finish the mel Robbins workbook? Back to therapy? Attend group therapy for nons?...the list goes on. There are things I want to progress, and am actively working on them, but feel like I'm stuck again. 

Undiagnosed ADHD leading to marital problems

Good Evening,

My wife was diagnosed with ADHD in the last year and a half. Due to numerous other ailments that are finally diagnosed and being treated, she is not currently on ADHD meds. She has taken antidepressants in the past (that I am adamantly against due to side effects).

I have joined a few ADHD spouse groups and have found them to be pure depression! I can identify with other's experiences, but everything looks dire for everyone with divorce or extreme submission to the disorder (giving up all my needs) being the final options.

Anyone else following the work and outputs of Dr. Ramini? Specifically, the few podcasts she's put out with Mel Robbins? I know there's a blog post on how to not confuse narcissism with ADHD behaviour/symptoms, but man, when she speaks, I feel like most of what she says can be applied to our situations but really, the only option is to leave. And that makes me so sad. 

I have one recurring thought about honesty and am trying to make sense of it. The problem with my ex-husband now, is that I feel he hasn't been emotionally and intellectually honest. Irrespective of ADHD/non status, isn't honesty a basic form of respect that we owe our life partner and ourselves?

Or is honesty just another thing that makes sense to me, but an ADHD mind doesn't register?