Recent forum posts (all topics)

Some months ago, I started to post here, when I was coping with the failure of my relationship.  

I told my experience in two threads, so I will not repeat any of it:
http://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/lowering-my-own-standards-accomodate...
http://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/add-and-selfishness

Well, kind of!

I took the kids shopping last weekend for presents and hid them in the basement but I was so busy this week and yesterday I forgot to wrap them. They just totally slipped my mind.

i am not sure how i'm suppose to feel. I always feel lonely and I have talked to my husband about it way too many times. I feel that NOTHING has changed. I have tried my best to not get angry with him. i just this second finished talking to him about it again. He left anyway. Is it normal for us to talk about the same thing over and over and nothing to get resolved. He is always doing something and never has time for me. Does anyone have any ideas on how i can deal with this? I would greately appreciate it.

Unfortunately for me and my kids, it isn't going to work out. I have resigned myself to this fact and now just trying to make sure things are in place for me after the divorce to allow me the emotional, physical and financial resources to finish the job of parenting. It would be very helpful to hear from others on this website about advice you would give to someone like me. My spouse's perspective (ADD spouse) on his contributions financially and parenting are not the same as mine.

As I was surfing the net to look for forums and blogs on marital problems, and ways of handling them, divorces, etc.

Oh boy I thought I could write this but the thoughts just left my head. I'll give it a try anyway.

While my wife is working to change some of her behaviors, she has also said to me a few times in the last couple of weeks that she it is wrong for me to want/expect her to change.  That I should just love her as the person she is, and that we should focus on the positive, spend time together doing fun things, etc.  I agree that we should focus on the positive and doing fun things, AND that we need to work to make some changes - both of us.  She is having a hard time, I think, becuase most, if not all, of the changes we are working on center around her ADHD-related behaviors and my response

Dear Mrs Orlov.

I am the husband (although forced into a separation now) of a lady who has recently been diagnosed through up to date, scientific tests.   However she has invalidated these results soon afterwards and that upset me greatly.   She now wants to be retested through her own Psychologist.   All the information I've come across this far on severe ADD (in writen and video format) show that if there is only "patient / Psychologist" intereaction, there is no one else there to really monitor what is said or isn't said to the Psychiatrist.   My question to you is as follows:

We have a raward system in place for my son who is nearly finsished 2nd grade. The higher his grades are the more money he will get to spend for the summer. My plan was to have him put some of it away in his first bank account and to let him spend the rest more or less as he pleased.

I would love to get some success stories of how any of you have successfully helped your spouse realize / accept that their ADD is a big part of the problems in the marriage.  My husband blames our marital problems on me - he says I am an angry, abusive person and that if I don't get help and change it will be the ruin of our marriage.