Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi all,

I am bringing my best self in dealing with my husband (trying to be patient, not getting angry, explaining how I feel). He continues to tell me he will “fix” things he does not do, but inevitably he does not do it, apologizes, and then we go through the same thing in a week. My patience is definitely wearing thin. How should I explain to him this is corrosive to our relationship? He keeps telling me he understands, but the changes he said he would make never come. Am I being unrealistic to expect him to be an adult who is responsible for their household obligations?

My partner has undiagnosed Adhd and I love him very much. For the majority of the time things are good but some things are wearing me down and I don't feel i am being heard nor that any action is taken.

We have been together for nearly 3 years and at the start he was very vocal about his love and how he was desperate to move in and to marry me.

My recent reconnecting with my swim coach again, reminded me a few things plus...learning some new things in the process. I mentioned "method" in a recent post. I didn't mention this at the time but my coach exhibited "Mastery" at his craft. He was a master....fortunately me, my master in that respect. 

The term "methodology" is really what we're taking about here : A methodology is a structured, systematic, and consistent set of methods, principles, and procedures used in a specific discipline, research project, or analysis to achieve objectives and ensure validity.

My wife whom I married about 5 months ago has ADHD.

Holy smokes, this is some of the hardest sh*t I've had to deal with in my 59 year life (and that's saying A LOT)

Growing up, I was taught to work hard, give to others and expect nothing in return. Having faulty, meaning any, expectations on others was shameful. Also, I was taught it was wrong to sacrifice for others. Becoming bitter was my responsibility to avoid, since it made a person unattractive. 

Come to think of it, my upbringing was full of contradictory rules for how to be a person or a woman.

Not long ago, I was having some frustration dealing with my sister who has been very insistent that I "be around people". Her query: "don't you want to be around people?" keeps repeatedly coming up. 

For me, this comes across as not taking no for an answer which it definitely has that flavor to it because it comes up almost everytime we talk.

How are your mornings? Do you prefer nice quiet mornings when you get up or do you wake up ready to take on the day talking, getting things done, listening to news, etc?

I like really quiet mornings. I love getting up by myself and leaving my husband in bed. I make coffee. I read. I go outside. I catch up on emails.

It appears most clinical psychologists in our area only treat children or up to age 22. Our therapist has recommended a psychologist to test/diagnose husband for possible ADHD. I have checked this website, CHADD, and several others. Does anyone have recommendations?

I do not believe my husband wishes to be medicated, so am going the psychologist route versus a psychiatrist.