Recent forum posts (all topics)

Divorce has left me with a problem and I don’t know how to deal with it. Would be so glad to hear your thoughts on this.

My fiancé (who is in his 50s, has ADHD, non treated),  whenever we are alone he constantly uses sexual innuendo and sexual inappropriate touching even when we are just doing everyday life, even watching a tv documentary he will act this way. I’ve told him to stop, set boundaries, told him that it overwhelms me, makes me uncomfortable and that I can’t fully relax around him. He improves but then falls back again.

I've come to learn what peace is.... and it's more valuable that I ever imagined.

In my definition; peace is the lack of want or need for anything. And you know it, when you have it.

I may not have: a permanent address. A house full of stuff, a partner to do things with, a lot of money ( very little ), and all the modern technological advances and creature comforts that everyone else may have...

But I do have peace. I want for nothing.

Full stop 

J

Husband and I have been going back to therapy past few weeks, but all appears to be getting worse. He feels as if I only look for ways to be critical and tells me I enjoy pointing out his failings (lack of follow through). I feel as if he continues to apologize for his behavior, but rarely makes the changes necessary to change the behavior. Yesterday was a terrible day. He told me he was hoping things would change 6 months ago (with NO WORD to me), but is now finding out they are not changing and he is considering divorce.

Have tried dating now, because the trauma therapist advises it, however terrifying it is. 

Have been for coffee a couple of times with a man who has his life together and seems decent in every way and also quite enthusiastic about me. But he doesn’t seem to connect with me on that gut level. At least not yet.

Since I'm the still processing the split with my SO....I've finally come to understand what the Now/Not Now truly is. This has teased my brain for over 10 years trying to find it in my own ADHD brain...and couldn't find it ? For good reason, it's not there!!  Possibly in the truest ADHD sense, losing track of time ( time blindness ) getting sucked into hyper focus etc. I do have that. But this living in the moment thing...has baffled me endlessly?

I feel so guilty because I have been with my husband for almost 12 years, married almost 10. He has severe ADHD and I always wrote it off as an excuse but now I really recognize how big of an issue it is. We are in counseling and it came to my attention how hurtful I have been by blaming him and not accepting that he has a condition that is difficult to deal with. We are separated, because of me, for a few months now and I am trying to fight for the marriage but I have caused him a lot of hurt. I am not sure what I am looking for but I wanted to share with people who get it.

I had a moment this morning ( tears ) that had nothing to do with grieving. It had nothing to do with the past....it was more like a "home coming" experience....as if you've been searching for something all your life, and then finally finding it inside yourself...that's the location...it doesn't exist in 3-Dimentional time or space.

And here's the striking contrast between where I am ( my true location ) and the true conditions that exist.

For context I am 8 years into a relationship with my ADHD partner, who I also got engaged to 2 years ago. I also JUST figured out 2 years ago that many of the issues in our relationship can be attributed to his untreated ADHD (along with my lack of knowledge around ADHD), even though I knew all along he had ADHD. He has chosen to be unmedicated for most of his life, and for the longest time I supported that decision. 

That time of year again--a time when I sit at my computer and he gets frustrated for having to hand over papers and documents to me. He has never once--not once--done our taxes or took it upon himself to find someone to do them. The one year I waited on him to take care of it, I ended up rushing to a storefront rip-off place past the deadline. I'm thinking this is the end of this. I'm going to look for a professional tax person.