Recent forum posts (all topics)

It's been a while since I've posted here as I've been trying to take a step back to let some of the hard work I've been doing come to the forefront. 

But I've realised over the last few weeks that I'm worried about myself and how numb I've become to the exhaustion of my marriage. I'm feeling trapped and helpless but my brain is reminding me that I am NOT trapped and helpless and then (I think) my body is staying in freeze/fawn mode - even though I don't want to be. 

Having a lot of trouble accepting that my bipolar II/ADHD fiance teeters on no change/worsening.

We've dated for 7 years, engaged in 2022 but called off our 2023 wedding due to worsening of his mental health. We do not live together(his home is a hoarding/messy nightmare). We broke up early this year but rekindled our friendship but I just simply no longer feel secure with him.

I've done what I always do, and went full immersion into attachments and patterns.

I've had several breakthroughs in major ways. 

It feels like: what was once hidden, is now exposed. I can see the biggest picture yet, the overall templates laid over each other and where the daylight is coming through ( the holes ), and how it all fits together and actually works.

 It's reality, whether I like it not, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

While preparing for a recent Book Club being offered within the Intent to Action Membership I listened to an interview of Penn and Kim Holderness where Penn very simply and eloquently discussed the topic "Talking ADHD Evaluation and Diagnosis with your Tween".

At approximately 10:25 minutes into the video Penn provides a wonderful explanation and example for parents to use who find themselves wanting to broach this sensitive topic with their tween.

I share it here in hopes that someone may find it both useful and helpful :)

Hi everyone, I'm reaching out for support and connection as I navigate a challenging chapter in my marriage. My spouse (5 years) shows many symptoms that align with ADHD—things like high impulsivity, emotional intensity, difficulty with boundaries, and a tendency to deflect during conversations. My wife has a son with ADD, so I assume this is in the family. When I asked my wife whether she had been evaluated for ADHD anytime in her life, she answered no " to that. She is 58.

I’m finding it really hard to access joy in our relationship right now. The RSD and DESR patterns are so constant that I feel like I’m policing what I say and do every day, and it leaves me feeling like I can’t fully be myself.

My husband never takes responsibility for his actions 

He deflects then blames me then the silent treatment 

A few hours later he acts as if everything is normal 

The pain lingers 

His words are toxic and I constantly walk on eggshells 

Hello;

My ex fiance was diagnosed adhd 2 years ago.  At the time he also thought he had bipolar which goes back years.  We broke up January 2025 due to his mental health and his house which is a disaster.  We did not live together but had planned on getting married and he would "get his house in order" and after the wedding live at my house.

We are an ADHD/non-ADHD couple and we are looking for therapy/counseling in 
Vancouver, BC, Canada that is in alignment with what you have written in your 
two books for couples. Do you have any recommendations for us?

I don't want to invalidate anyone's experiences but I'm hearing mostly horrible things about people with ADHD. I have a milder form but it's definitely gotten worse as I've aged. I got diagnosed last year after being married for 30 years. I have received nothing but grief and anger from my spouse all these years and couldn't understand why. And even without a diagnosis, I have been listening to  what he says he needs  and changing it if possible. I've spent 30 years confused at the anger. And 30 years of doing everything possible to become a better person.