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I just heard this term the other day and have found that there are articles about it in The Guardian, Vogue, the New York Times, and Vice Magazine.

Apologies in advance to any men here. I'm sure there are men out there who do this with women, but I'm prone to believe this is a cultural thing that normally goes one way. 

My husband is self-diagnosed AuDHD and has depression. He is unmedicated and doing talk therapy 2x per month. We do couples counseling 2x a month as well. The counseling has helped us understand our dynamic and why we keep repeating the same patterns. My husband is basically critical and condescending all the time. He has emotional regulation challenges, and neither of us communicate very well.

I wanted to report my current status living alone in the desert. Just to recap, I'm about 140 miles from the nearest real town in any direction, and 30 miles from any civilized wayside stop for gas and bare essentials. One of the largest most devestating wildfires in the continential US is still burning only 80 miles from my current location. I have to drive 3 miles to get drinkable water as the area is experiencing a drought. There is a hotsprings here, which makes this place ideal.

I am beginning to get very scared about our older years, which are fast approaching. 
I'm concerned about my husband's spending, secrets about spending, and ADHD. 

Husband’s business has not been profitable for 5 years but he continues to believe it will be if he just puts more money into it and tries different ideas. He is now taking a portion of our investment accounts to support his business, without a word to me, as he feels it is “his” money since much came from his parents’ estate distribution. Since he will no longer speak with me about this matter, we are scheduled for Family Mediation in mid-September. I have no idea how long I am going to last like this.

My Fiancé has always thought the world of me and we had a very strong loving long term relationship. A few ups and downs and minor disagreements here and there along the way, but a very happy healthy relationship. He proposed to me in Italy in July 2025 with a ring he designed himself and had a bespoke Jeweller make and put a lot of thought in to it and was very serious about it.

My wife (36F) and I (36M) separated quite abruptly at the start of the year and she moved out of the family home back in March.

During the initial stage of the separation she completed (with my assistance for one section) a ADHD referral questionnaire to seek a diagnosis which she received in July confirming a Combined diagnosis.

My wife and will be married 20 years next week.   

The last few years have been rough.   I read the book.   A lot of it rang true.   I'm the one with ADHD.  

Make no mistake, addressing our relationships with ADHD partners no matter our own personal issues which may contribute or complicate matters is not just a marathon (certainly not a sprint), it is an ultramarathon mountain race on par with the Montblanc.  It's hard, and it remains hard, for both partners.  I must remind myself constantly to hang in, talk myself off various cliffs (giving up, giving out, walking away...), and pick myself up and get back in there and fight. My wife is extraordinary, I do love her and enjoy us together when we're in a good place.

My husband's mouth is starting to rot out because he hasn't been keeping up with his dental care. He doesn't like his dentist, so he asked me to make an appointment for him with mine, which I was happy to do. I really like my dentist -- they're a small team, but they're thorough and they obviously care about their work.