Recent forum posts (all topics)

This week has been a struggle. I am feeling constantly disappointed and ignored. I find little things daily that my ADHD wife didn't follow through on, or didn't listen to me about. 

Does anyone have any suggestions to make things better (other than divorce)?

In person conversations get forgotten, lists and reminders ignored. Intimacy is non-existent. I'm struggling to see what the upside of this marriage is.

I am amazed how often now I have these thoughts run on in my mind.  What I learned with new perspective is this....

I wish I woulda...

• been MORE verbal.  So often I shut up so to not cause a scene or because he would raise his voice louder and meaner and use vulgarity to shut me up if I spoke my mind. We ended up not talking very often.

• not worked so hard trying to DO everything for us and the kids physically. I wish I woulda been more of a manager and less of a slave.

I recently reviewed my journal, and I'm realizing that I've been in a consistent struggle to get some kind of favor from my ADHD wife in four years of marriage. She consistently abuses and oversteps our marriage by criticizing me and devaluing my contribution. She also makes up narratives where she is the victim to the "high standards" of simple marriage duties (like chores and spending time together). She is resistant to handling ADHD, even when I try to claim responsibility for my reaction to her symptoms.

Guys, help. Anyone else have some practical or experienced suggestions on how to deal with multiple neuro diverse-ness in the same house? 

I've been learning a ton about ADHD recently, and things are making sense in my marriage as to why things happened. Now, I feel the need to restructure and make sure boundaries are established.

So I finally met my severe ADD ex at the counselor’s, 18 months after divorce. We hadn’t spoken since he moved out.

Two concepts/problems in one here:

Now he claims the reason for meeting me at the counselor’s is so the kids don’t have to feel awkward when he and I meet face to face at celebrations et cetera. Like it’s my fault.

Well, perhaps he could have sent those celebrations a thought while inflicting divorce trauma, shredding the remains of my trust two years ago. 

This is my first time posting here. I’m currently dating someone with ADHD. We’ve been together-ish for 2 years. The “ish” is because I didn’t understand the role his ADHD played in our attempted connection. He would disappear for months and I would assume it was over. But he always came back and acted like nothing had happened. I didn’t understand how he could possibly care about me and do that. But I somehow believed him and I believed in us. So here we still are. We’re finally in a more serious and a bit more consistent place.

Following my split with his dad, my elder child has been keen to talk to me about his struggles over years. The boy’s mental health has often been wobbly, needing a lot of support (from me; dad was never available) and counselling. He’s telling me now that a lot of that stemmed from confusion and low self esteem caused by his father, and a lack of a functional male role model. He was realises he was messed up by the dissonance between what is dad said to him and how his dad behaved towards him.