Recent forum posts (all topics)

So I'm new to all of this, my husband was diagonis with ADD about 4 years ago. We've been married for two years and it seems just to be getting worse. Kinda like a roller-coster. One minute he's happy and telling me how much he loves me and our son and the next he is wanting a divorce because he is convinced he doesnt make me happy! Ive tried to understand where he is coming from and trying to talk to him but he is always on the defense. He wont help me around the house but there are times when I ask him and he is fine.

I have been to one psychiatrist who seemed less interested in actually diagnosing me and more interested in simply medicating me so he could diagnose by experimentation.  He was generally dismissive of my concern that I might have ADD because he said simply that most people grow out of ADD they experience as children and young adults.  I wasn't really happy with this answer but I tried the meds anyway, but they didn't help (I'll be honest, this was two years ago and I forget what I was given).

My husband and I determined months ago to move. However, I can't get him to help me look for a place. The property management places around here only work 9-5 Monday through Friday and he refuses to do anything during those hours (his work hours)

I understand the importance of his job, but he takes no lunch, although I'm sure the other employees there do, and I'm sure they handle their personal business. He doesn't want me to rent a house without him seeing it (I don't want to do that either), but that sticks us in this house we both hate.

Yet another holiday has passed and I find myself saddened and frustrated.  My husband who has suspected he had add for many years was diagnosed about 4 or 5 years ago since then he has tried various meds and is currently taking adderall.  One of our biggest issues is holidays.  Most of the time he shuts down and in turn makes things a negative experience for all around him.  The only time he is happy is when he takes an extra dose of adderall or is drinking during a holiday.

   I think it may be possible that while my husband knows he has ADD he doesn't think that it affects him much or that he can control it, like he is in denial. The more I read about people's stories/struggles with this disorder the more I recognize similarities in Rick. I email him these stories and I ask, is this how you feel?

Am I totally a idiot for not seeing what was going on for all these years? Can I really make up for all the damage that is done? Am I even truley getting better or is that just my way of trying to make myself feel better?  These are quesion's that  I have been fighting with for quite some time now and its a sad fact that a 38 year old man has his wife tell him she has no respect for him and that there marriage might end because not only the ADHD but me personally.

Just today we recieved a letter from my husbands employer stating that he failed to take part in some extended training (he is a teacher and this is continuing education points). They are deducting over $400 from his next pay check, a much needed amount.

His response: "I guess I screwed up. But if I wasn't distracted from all the crap going on this year I probably would have remembered to go"

I live in the NYC area and was curious if there are any ADD support groups for non-ADD partners who are in a relationship with an ADD partner -- much like Al-Anon.

Books and blogs and literature is good, but it'd be great to connect with some people on a personal level.

Thanks.

I will be married two years in August.

another great resource:

www.ADDerworld.ning.com

this site was created by a man-managing his ADD/ADHD-to result such a lifestyle that he's written 2 books. 'very powerful-and inspiring resource.