|ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - March 13, 2013|
Heart to Heart
Tips for Thriving in your Marriage
|Quote of the Week||Quick Links|
“Trying to motivate yourself with fear is like screaming at a child, ‘Do something, dammit!’”
- Martha Beck
|“If I don’t do better, my partner will leave…” is a comment that I’ve heard from many ADHD partners with a tremor in their voices. While it might give them the adrenaline they need to focus for a while, in the long-term my observation is that it is more likely to paralyze them. “The stakes are high…what if I make a mistake?” is one reason. Furthermore, this type of fear is very general. It provides no direction for change.|
Threats from a non-ADHD partner typically don’t work for the same reason. Increasing the stress on your partner will most likely just make the ADHD symptoms worse. Or, you may get a quick response but no lasting change.
A better approach is a calm but persistent one. One that does not put your partner on the defensive, but rather suggests that success is a real possibility with the right approach and some hard work. This is the approach I try to help my couples take, and it works.
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|For those in marriages impacted by ADHD|
|If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues. In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD.|
Hope to hear from you there!
© 2013 Melissa Orlov