Life Has No Remote

ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - January 12, 2012

Heart to Heart

Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

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“Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself.”

- button photographed and posted to my Facebook page


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Life Has No Remote

I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately to the ideas of “active” vs. “passive” and which of my couples are most successful at improving their relationships. There is certainly a correlation – those who have both the energy and inspiration to “get up and change” their lives themselves seem always better off than those who sit back and wait for their partners to change.


This was certainly my experience. At my lowest point, Dr. Hallowell advised me to take control of my own life again and do what I needed to do to be happy and whole once more. This set me on a path of improvement for both myself and, eventually, my family.


But where do you find the energy for this? I found the energy only because I was so low I felt I had no other choice than to take control of my life again. I needed to be better – to be “me” – to be whole. Just like that tv without the remote control – you can sit on the couch and let whatever junk the stations throw at you be your reality…or you can get up off the couch and change the channel.


Turns out, exercising that control feels pretty darned good.

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues.  In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD.
Hope to hear from you there!
Melissa Orlov

© 2011 Melissa Orlov

© copyright Ned Hallowell, M.D. and Melissa Orlov, 2007-2011