“What if tomorrow is the only time I have? Am I going to fixate on what I don’t have?...I came into my relationship as an individual and my primary responsibility is to work on myself. We can’t experience our lives fully if we expect someone else to fill in our spaces.”
-A support group member
Staying in the present moment and making the most of every day is so important to emotional well-being, and this woman put such an interesting spin on this idea! We all have ‘spaces’ inside us, and many people make the mistake of going outside of themselves to get those spaces filled in order to feel more complete.
And yet, we are only in control of ourselves and only responsible for ourselves. Our spaces are ours to fill. No one else can do that for us, no matter how we love them, or they love us.
The first part of this process is realizing we are responsible for ‘experiencing our lives fully.’ That means self-care and compassion and understanding we are responsible for ourselves. The science on happiness also suggests living fully includes having a sense of purpose.
Are you expecting a partner to fill in your spaces?
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