Love is to be Nurtured

ADHD & Marriage News - April 13, 2024

Quote of the Week

“Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed, and rare.”

- Brene Brown

Do you think about loving yourself as the base upon which love for another can grow? Or that love between two people can only succeed if both are committed to the nurturing of it?

There is much to learn about loving oneself and we do not always do it well.

As one example, I have historically held myself to VERY high standards – leading to a lot of self-criticism and an inability to internalize a compliment when bestowed. That critiquing habit leaked out towards my spouse, as well (by now you all know about parent-child dynamics!)

Therapy has served me well as a way to learn to love myself more fully. I learned to open up the boxes inside me and get to the childhood roots of my difficult feelings. I better identified all of the injuries I had taken on (see the list in Brown’s quote), looked at how I had responded, and did the hard work of healing and repairing that comes after a divorce.

The idea that love is nurtured – and that the first love to nurture is the love you hold for yourself – is a very powerful one. It’s also critical to note that when you are part of a couple you cannot nurture love alone.

What do these ideas bring up for you?

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How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD;

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A large number of blog posts on various topics;

Referrals

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