“…neurological differences …generate new ideas. Impairments in one area can lead to advantages in others, and it is these differences that drive progress.” -Matthew Schneps, in an article on dyslexia in Scientific American Mind
Some people ask whether or not ADHD is a gift. For most people, I would say it is not a gift, if only because they have to do extra work to manage it.
That said, I do agree with what Schneps writes. In ways, we compensate for our weaknesses by becoming particularly strong in other areas. I’m terrible at calculations (math learning disability) but really great at the other side of the spectrum – conceptual thinking. My ability to put together many disparate ideas in a way that people relate to has helped many, many couples.
My husband is really great at thinking about a million things at once (race car ADHD brain!) but not so good at staying engaged with things he doesn’t like (also ADHD brain…). He overseas technology strategy for 8 separate companies. Just the thought of all that input makes my head spin!
My point is this – Don’t ask your partner to be like you. Instead, appreciate your differences, and play to your individual strengths. This is the most likely path to a happy relationship.
Parents of kids with ADHD, Anxiety, LD and more - enroll in "Sanity School" parent management and training program and learn positive parenting strategies. Use this link for a 40% discount.
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including: a free online treatment overview; free downloadable chapters of my books; a community forum with other couples facing similar issues; a large number of blog posts on various topics; referrals; and my very popular couples course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - Next live session begins April 4, 2016 - this eight-session seminar has helped many couples turn around their relationship. This seminar is given by phone, so anyone may participate.