ADHD & Marriage Weekly Tip - September 12, 2014

Quote of the Week

“TIME approaches hard questions with a conviction that smart people of good will can disagree fiercely – but that discourse can be reasoned, enlightening, even entertaining.  I don’t believe debate divides us; it draws us together, because the premise is that we are looking for the best answer…” - Nancy Gibbs, first female Managing Editor of TIME magazine


How do you think about your disagreements? As pushing you apart, or as two people who disagree but share a desire to find the best answer?

Many struggling couples would answer the first way – it has become a habit to see their partner as an adversary. This is a huge loss – because it interferes with the collaborative problem solving that is so much in their best interests.

In order to be good collaborators you must start from a place where you each have equal power and respect – so parent/child dynamics really get in the way. If you find you are adversaries, first attack parent/child dynamics together…then start putting communication strategies in place to increase respectful behavior and lessen defensiveness. If you need help with this, consider taking my couples course, beginning September 23, 2014, as this is one of the issues that it tackles.

it's likely that this live couples seminar will be my last for some time, perhaps for good.  So now is the time to sign up!

This is a fabulous seminar - given once a week by phone conference call for 8 weeks.  Many couples have said that it has dramatically changed their lives for the better (see the testimonials at the bottom of the seminar page

The seminar covers such important topics as:
    •    What good treatment for ADHD looks like in the context of a serious relationship
    •    Why you are both so angry - and how to change that
    •    Parent/child interactions, and dysfunctional pursuit/retreat patterns - and how to get out of them
    •    Communication strategies that work
    •    Overcoming tasks, time and chore issues for couples
    •    Lying, cover-ups, and rebuilding trust
    •    How to find the positives in ADHD and your relationship

If you are struggling, you probably need this information.  So register now - the course starts September 23rd!
If you have further questions about whether taking this course is right for you and your partner, please email me at [email protected].

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at my marriage and ADHD website, including: a free online treatment overview; free downloadable chapters of my books; a community forum with other couples facing similar issues; a large number of blog posts on various topics; referrals; and my very popular ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar. This eight-session seminar has helped many couples turn around their relationship, and is given by phone, so anyone may participate.

Audio Book and Kindle Now Available for The Couple's Guide to Thriving. This book explores why the emotional "Hot Spots" that couples impacted by ADHD commonly face and what to do about them. 

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship.  Please take a moment to investigate the information available to you.  It can literally change your life!

Link to ADHD and Marriage website

© 2014 Melissa Orlov