We Are Two Individuals, But One Couple

ADHD & Marriage Weekly Tip - November 18, 2015

Quote of the Week

“I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be.  And you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be.”
-Martin Luther King

We Are Two Individuals, But One Couple

One of the greatest pleasures, and greatest tests, of being part of a couple is how interconnected you are.  You are completely different people and will not (and should not!) be the same.  Being differentiated partners is healthy and part of creating a happy relationship.

But Martin Luther King makes a point about our inter-connectedness, too.  He was voicing a call to be our best selves in all of our relationships and I suggest to my clients the same thing.  You should strive to be your best self, but you won’t get there completely until your partner is also on the right path, and vice versa.

That means two things: First, don’t wait for your partner to make changes – go ahead and look at what you can do to make your situation together happier…and DO IT!  Second, celebrate your mutual successes.  Every time your partner makes a gain, so do you (and vice versa).

I challenge you to ask yourself – how can I be ‘what I ought to be’?


Thanks for your patience with our website outage the week of November 9th!  The adhdmarriage.com site is back up and ready for your use.

American Adults Wanted to Participate in a Brief, Online Mindfulness Study - The intent of this study is to better understand why people may be more or less willing to practice mindfulness. The results will help inform a variety of mindfulness-based treatments, including those for ADHD.  Take the study here.

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including: a free online treatment overview; free downloadable chapters of my books; a community forum with other couples facing similar issues; a large number of blog posts on various topics; referrals; and my very popular couples course:
ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - this eight-session seminar has helped many couples turn around their relationship.
Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD wins 2 book awards!

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!

© 2015 Melissa Orlov