|ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - October 19, 2011|
Heart to Heart
Tips for Thriving in your Marriage
|Quote of the Week||Quick Links|
“When we’re scared, we’re scary, so at your most fearful, you probably frighten the people around you. They, in turn, react aggressively from their own fear, scaring you into anxious behavior, escalating the fear, etc.”
Beck’s description is a classic “symptom/response/response” cycle like those I describe in my book, only the “symptom” in this case is fear.
Fear, for many, is the deep underlying emotion that provokes lots of aggressive behavior in relationships. Take these examples:
These examples are real – I see them (almost verbatim) very frequently. The only way to get out of these fear cycles is to acknowledge that fear is the root cause of the aggression and defensiveness, accept that, then try to calm those fears through concerted effort on both parties.
Step away from these fears by telling your partner about them, and talking together about how you might be able to break the cycle of symptom/response/response in which you are both participating.
|For those in marriages impacted by ADHD|
|If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues. In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD.|
Hope to hear from you there!
© 2011 Melissa Orlov