Resources - Affairs, Separation and Divorce

Online resource for healing from betrayal, including affairs: podcast, groups and coaching at HelpingCouplesHeal -

Conscious Uncoupling is both a book and a method of counseling that will help couples explore whether or not they should stay together.

Should I Stay or Go?  How Controlled Separation Can Save Your Marriage by Lee Raffel, M.S.W.

There is no doubt that many couples struggling with how ADHD affects their marriage contemplate divorce or separation - and many actually end up getting divorced.  This book helps you to create your own answer to the basic question "Should I Stay or Go?" that desperate spouses may ask, and provides a number of ways to think through how a separation or divorce might proceed.  Raffel is an advocate for "controlled separation" as a last ditch effort to get some distance from each other and save a marriage, and she provides very specific guidelines for how couples might decide whether or not to try this route, as well as many examples and real-life stories.

Too Good To Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum

This is an insightful and thoughtful guide to resolving relationship ambivalence (that period when you can't decide whether to stay in your marriage or leave it).  Under the theory that relationships are too complicated to weigh good vs. bad, Kirshenbaum offers 36 diagnostic tests against which you should measure your relationship and your feelings.  She likens the process to how doctors diagnose illness.  One caveat - be careful to look at whether unresolved anger around your relationship, or ADHD symptoms that can be treated and, therefore improved, unfairly bias your answers to the negative.