I’ve followed this blog/community for a while...reading all of your posts, trying to validate the things that I’ve been dealing with and I’ve found them all very helpful. I’m starting to find my voice and this is my first attempt to tell someone what I’ve been dealing with my husband for 19 years, married for 13 years on May 6th, and the last 10 years have been a train wreck. When we first met we had all of the typical ADHAD hyper focus stuff. He made me feel like no other man had ever made me feel. I was his world. I was everything. And because no other man had made me feel that way I, being a nurturing person, had no issue with taking care of our household. But as the years have waned on things have progressively gotten worse. After several years of marriage we decided that it was time to have children. At the time I was 36 so the potential for conceiving and possible miscarriage weighed heavily on me. We were able to conceive but that ultimately lead to a devastating miscarriage. I was broken! He showed me no support. And then he proceed to have an affair that I found out about a year later. During his affair, I’m not going to lie I drank a lot, but he also gaslighted me. He insisted the I was the problem with our marriage. All the while he was cheating on me. After I found out about his affair and confronted him about it he insisted that it was only online and that he had no physical contact with her. A fact I still don’t believe. We were in counseling for two years and that is when our therapist suggested he has ADHD. He went to his primary care doc and was prescribed Adoral. On the occasion that he remembers to take it things are better than when he doesn’t. I probably should have left him years ago but I love the guy. But, as I get older...I’m now 43, I’m starting to think that I deserve better. He has systematically, over the years, separated me from the people who meant something to me. The people who remember the strong woman I used to be. I am a broken woman. I want my marriage to work. But I also can’t keep doing this for the rest of my life.
So, what I guess I’m looking for is anyone who can relate. Anyone who can maybe shed some light on what I am supposed to do.