Hello all. New hear, been lurking a good while. Short version: Married 24 years. DId not know he was an alcoholic or that he had ADHD back then. Years of dealing w his bad choices, everything from the alcoholism, temper tantrums, many, many jobs, along with the frosting on the cake, infidelity a few years ago. Multiple attempts on my part to engage him in treatment. He is under the care of psychiatrist for depression and ADHD. Well, he gets the pills anyway. Therapy not productive bc of lying to his therapist, as well as our marriage counselor. It blew up in his face when he was called on it. Never went back, found ADHD coach for him, but somehow he doesn't have time for that. But, he will prioritize making sure he has his stimulants and pain pills. Bad back, been on pain pills many years.
I sound angry, don't I??? Yes, I am am. Very sad and tired as well. I just can't do it anymore. There is no intimacy,emotional nor physical. Oh he would love to have sex. I would not. I just can't connect w someone who doesn't give me the time of day, makes up all kinds of weird distortions and says really cruel things that just aren't true. Our MC took me aside after the first session and said, "He's a victim, isn't he?" Pegged it! Everything wrong in his life is blamed on someone else. His Dad, siblings, ex wives, employers, and most of all, me.
Anyone else ever reach the end of their rope? I have suggested separating as a last resort, however, he then plays the suicidal card. yes, I know it's a manipulation. It's to the point that my frustration level is so high, I am frequently losing my temper. I'm not a saint and he knows how to push my buttons!
So, I am asking-when did you finally cut the cord? What pushed you over the edge? Help!