With all the anger and frustration we as non adhd spouses feel, are there 3 things that if you could use a magic wand to change, what would they be? I am not talking about "curing" the ADHD symptoms, or magically erasing past behavior, but if there were 3 things your spouse could do different right now, that you think could save things or make things better between you, what would they be? For me, I would change the following:
1. Put his ring back on. I know this gets into the land of the imaginary, and while I have accepted that he is leaving and honestly I know that I will be ok and probably better not putting faith in someone who is going to runaway, it's not what I ever wanted. I do love him regardless. *EDIT* honestly I am not ready to put mine back on, so the caveat here would be put it back on and show that he is sincere and working on things as an act of faith. I would need to see both before I put mine back on. Before I trusted him enough to not run again.
2. Start going to practice for fighting and start practicing every day... EVERY SINGLE DAY..... Footwork, pel work, stamina and strength training. Regular exercise is so good for managing adhd symptoms. I really thing this activity will help him consistently to deal with all his demons.
3. Read Melissa's book so that he can see how adhd is affecting him and his life. (I made it as easy as possible for him - its on his kindle, along with some other books he "said" he wanted to read, but in fact - I think he has even lost his kindle that I got him)....
There are other things of course, but it seems those would be nice to have and seem like would be a good start. I know that #1 is a pipe dream. But hey, I am human, and I certainly still see the good in him. Even when he can't and even when he doesn't see me at all.