40 years of lies !!!!!!!

Hi this is my first post.

My wife has been researching ADHD in adults for the past year when she saw that I scores high on every question in an ADHD test. since that year has passed she has looked into iot more.

On Friday we had a massive row and I walked out for half an hour ans she asked me to look on this web site, within and hour I had downloaded the book and started reading it.

The next morning I was a mess. I felt like my life had been a lie! what could I achieve if I was not like this, I am 50 and even in my old school reports you can see the signs. I was very upset as my late father thought I was just rubbish with money ....... I am now  finding that I can connect the ADHD to many many parts of my life, why I cant give up smoking and am always trying to.....

My use of cannabis and trying to explain to friends and family that I only do it late in the night ( 10:30 - 11:30) so I can chill and concentrate on a film or music.

I have this morning approached my doctor but they said we will do bloods first and that I will have to wait a week to take blood and then a few more days for the results. I am living away from my wife and kids ( around the corner) and can plainly see I have this and really want to invest in whatever is needed to help me. I am also angry as I could have  and will be so much  better at being a husband, and in my work, how I have held down my job all this while I will never know.

So I am in the the UK and if there is anyone who knows where else I can get help here that would be so good to hear.