Absent Husband/Father with ADD

I am new to this site but glad I found it. I am 30 years old, married for almost 6 years. We have two small children (3 and 8 months) together and he's in Grad school. We've been to counseling in the past and "worked" on some things we were having difficulties in. Because he is in grad school, in archeology, he has spent many weeks away doing research. At times when he has been away he has been so hyper-focused on his work he has not called to check in on us, or has not picked up the phone when we try to call him over 9 hour or so periods. One thing that we had discussed in counseling was that I needed him to do small gestures of appreciation while he was away or very busy with school when it gets to be very demanding and he's working 16 hour days. At first he did do a few nice things. A small note, flowers..., but it quickly faded. I reminded him several times over again that this is what I need to make me feel loved and appreciated especially when he is consumed by his work but it has been totally ignored. This summer he has been away for 3 & 1/2 weeks already (he will be away for the 5 weeks of June as well) and has not attempted any gestures, even after reminders and has even taken off to a bachelor party in Vegas for 3 days without even discussing it with me. I am deeply hurt by his actions and non-actions and he doesn't understand why. I've tried to explain to him but he sees it as my problem. We live away from all of our family so I have no help with the children, and very little in the way of companionship from him or anyone else. I have a few moms I am friendly with but no real deep relationships. I feel lonely, and sad, and mad; even dreaming about it. Any words of wisdom/support would be greatly appreciated.