Absolute insanity

First post to this community. 
I am a 2-mos newlywed and only discovered my husband's ADHD a few months before we got married. I had zero idea what adult ADHD was and meant. Zero idea. I can look back now and see why everything got SO bad right after we got engaged and he moved in. Yes, we had difficulties before that but I thought they were just communication problems. 
He screaming/yelling/slamming doors/swearing anger flashes, unpredictability, and fixations reaches a point where I had to have him removed from the house. He immediately got help with his own therapist and is waiting for the date of his psychiatrist appt to discuss medication. We have a couples counseling session this week. He knows he has severe ADHD. But honestly, the mood swings and need to be the victim in every situation and the inability to move on from any past grievance coupled  with living with someone who has to unravel every tiny thing and cannot pause has tapped me out. My home is a nightmare. There is no peace and no stability. I am missing work. And when I am there I am trying not to cry. He is reading books and taking steps, and I am trying not to parent or do too much. No matter how I try not to get sucked in, the symptom/response/response pattern is killing us. I have run out of energy for it and want to let it all go and just disconnect. How do you hold on and wait to see if the medication and therapy work? He is a wonderful man, but I don't recognize him anymore. I don't think I can wait even two more days. Help!