Accepting the non-ADHD partner as he or she is

Hi.  I'm really struggling with this issue, as I do off and on.  I often read about people with ADHD that "this is who they are.  Other people need to accept this."  I accept this statement to a certain point and I realize that to the extent I don't accept it, that's my problem.  But perhaps even more of a struggle for me is the following:  I am who I am.  Can my husband accept that?  Even more important, can I accept it?  Is it OK for me to say, "I'm a very sensitive person.  I don't want to think of myself as a person who is vulnerable.  But I am.  I don't want to think that I've been hurt in ways that are very hard for me to overcome.  But I have been hurt and I really don't think I can get over them."  And if it is OK for me to say these things, how can I actually reach that point where I accept that I'm not the perfect person who can deal with anything that life with a spouse with ADHD throws at me?  I think the upshot of this is that I don't think I can stay married to a man with ADHD if it means trying to make myself into a person that I'm not.