ADD and Insecurity

My husband has untreated ADD, and we are newly married. When we were dating he joked about his lifetime of ADD and I didn't think much of it, not knowing much about it. Now I see how while we were dating he was hyper focused on romancing me. Which of course won me over. He was over the top good to me, almost being pushy. He actually says he steam-rolled me into marrying him. Ha. 

 

However, now we're approx 8 months into our marriage and I am losing hope at how to deal w his micro analyzing every detail about our relationship. In the beginning if I even mentioned my ex fiancé in discussing past relationships, he became obsessed with if I still loved him. Made me go through all my jewelry and toss expensive pieces he had given me, insisting I was holding onto it cause I still loved him. Then I couldn't even mention speaking to my ex husband about our children, without him making snide comments that I wish I was still married to him. I had to ditch every male friend I had cause he thought there was more to it. I can't talk about men at work cause he asks if I think about having sex with them. And the latest is, I don't want to have sex whenever he wants to, cause I just don't want him. Even though he knows I'm more of a every 2-3 days kind of girl. When he is in his obsessive zone, no matter my tears or pleads he doesn't listen. Then when he has several days of self reflection he recognizes that he over thinks things too much and asks for forgiveness. He has been in talks with his doctor, taking different anti-anxiety drugs. So far, the SSRI's work best, but not completely and the side effects cause him to quit them. 

 

Im at a loss. I hope someone can give some assurance, guidance, and let me know I am not alone. Is this typical of ADD or not?