I would like to get some advice on an issue that is causing great anxiety for me.I am living with my boyfriend and his biggest ADD problem is forgetting and misplacing things.It has raised a huge red flag for me in that,if I have kids with this man some day....is he going to be able to be a responsible father and help to raise them?Or will he forget about them and their needs to the point of jepardizing their safety because he "forgets" so much.What if he leaves them in the hot car one day,forgets to pick them up at daycare,forgets they are in the bathtub,etc,etc.
I am curious what others have experienced in this department.How is it once you have kids?Do you ever leave your ADD partner alone with your own kids or do you "always" have them in your sight?(We are not engaged or anything yet)but am I overreacting with this or should this be a real concern and how do I handle it?
Also,he is not on any form of medication at all....yet.I was told the meds are very helpful in helping the ADD person focus.So this brings up another issue......He said he would try some meds,but I know he really doesn't want to...he is doing it for me.He even goes back and forth with saying he will try meds,then he won't,etc.So am I wrong by giving him an ultimatum in saying,"Look,In looking into my future with you,I am concerned about all this forgetting and how you will be able to raise kids and still be safe with them.Therefore,I really need you to try this medication,otherwise I don't feel I can stay in this relationship."Yes,it may be manipulation and I can't make someone get on meds...but it also may be the truth.I may honestly end this with him because I also fear that I will be a single parent and never trust him alone with the kids,etc.However if meds help...then I could go into a future with him with a LOT more peace.
So am I jumping the gun and overreacting with worry and anxiety about the future or??Normally I am not a pill pusher and wouldn't force meds on anyone...but in this case....when it is a safety issue...that seems different.The "current" things that he forgets...I can deal with,but you throw kids in the picture and that is different.Any advice?