ADD & Infidelity

I really have no statistical bases for the question I am going to pose.  I am not sure how many out of how many meet the criteria of behavior.  Yet, I am still interested in the dynamics between ADD and cheating on your partner.

I have read many stories of infidelity in relationships between ADD / Non ADD individuals.

Well first let me start with some context; I don't understand infidelity and have a hard time relating to it happening.  As long as I can remember my philosphy has been if I am at the point in a relationship that I am considering cheating (seriously) then I need to be upfront about those feelings.  If things are "at that point" then why cheat and compromise my character in the process.  Personally, I would rather have someone tell me they need to move on and deal with that pain than be cheated on and lied to.  I am way over simplifying the dynamics but I try to keep it simple when it comes to committed relationships and compromising what that committment means.  My point is not to judge those that cheat (unless its on me) but rather to understand what drives it.

With that said I have a few questions for everyone and hope everyone find benefits in the answers (my answers will be in parenthesis):

  1. Define "cheating"? (when an individual crosses a line either emotionally or physically that compromises the integrity of their current relationship)
  2. Have you ever thought about cheating? (yes at a conceptual level in trying to understand it)
  3. Have you ever been cheated on? (no that I am aware of and really haven't had any hints or signs)
  4. Should someone with ADD be given more "grace" or second chances than someone who is Non-ADD; after cheating? (I have ADD and I can say that it should never be a valid excuses for me to cheat.  Do I require more stimulation sure does that mean my actions get a free pass?  I think not cheating emotionally/physically requires decisioning on my behalf that is run through my moral compass.  If I cheat it means I chose someone else over my ethics and my commitment to my partner and thus should have no further rights in keeping that relationship.  I've studied a lot about ADD and I just don't think it would be reasonable to say, "Well babe I was weak, I was emotionally compromised and you have been physically distant for years and given my ADD you know I require additional stimulation."
  5. What benefits are there in cheating? (other than temporary stimulation of mind and body which result in false feelings of inclusion and relief I can't find anything reasonable.)
  6. Why would you give a second chances? (the only reason I can think of would be because of my own fears with being alone or starting over or losing my kids half the time)

I realize many of these questions are sensative in nature and I hope no one is offended by my responses or anyone elses.  My only hope is to learn more than I know now so that I can make better choices or at least evaluate my choices from a more informed perspective.  I could and admit my perspective today could be wrong :).