My husband and I went through a very difficult time over the past 2 years, but especially the past year.  I diagnosed him myself with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).  I am a nurse, but not a mental health professional.  It just seemed to fit.  I couldn't figure out any other explanation.  However, some things really didn't fit.  I just thought maybe his case was mild.  My dad, however, has NPD, but his is severe, bordering psychosis.  Children of parents with NPD are usually drawn to others with NPD.  I thought that I had found myself in that situation.  It turns out I was wrong.  I was wondering if anyone else has thought NPD before his/her spouse was diagnosed with adult ADD.

NPD Traits: arrogant behavior, lack of empathy for others, need for admiration from all, cocky, self-centered, demanding, think they deserve special treatment, defensive, impulsive, manipulative

ADD Traits: zones out when others are speaking, distracted, struggles to complete tasks, tendency to overlook details, poor listening skills,chronic lateness, forgetful, impulsive, poor self-control, blurt out rude or inappropriate thoughts, irritability, defensive


As the wife of an ADD husband, I assumed his zoning out, being distracted, not helping with chores, inability to problem solve, etc were due to him being self-centered and thinking he deserve special treatment.  Things got so bad that he started having an affair and avoiding me.  I kept trying to have a discussion with him about what was wrong in our marriage and how we could fix it.  He was immediately overwhelmed by the conversation and would start making comments that he knew would make me mad.  It felt like he was manipulating me.  I felt he had no empathy for me.  I cried so often.  He would stare at me and say, "Why are you doing this to yourself?" refusing to take any responsibility for what he was doing. 

Since he started Adderall, he is a totally different kind of person.  He has the ability to be very sweet and loving.  He is still forgetful and struggles with attentiveness, but we are doing better than we ever have.  I just worry because I know that he can build up a tolerance.  I am paranoid that everything will fall apart again.