Grateful for this group, it's given me perspective on how the non-ADHD partner feels. I'm the ADD wife, partner to a non-ADHD (logical, pragmatic,focused). We have amazing chemistry, but I'm now learning that is not enough. My husband and I are very close to getting a divorce at this point. He can't stand to be with someone who can't remember conversations, doesn't know how to be present, and get's defensive when asked to do something I've been told repeatedly before. Does anyone know what effectively works in communicating w/ my spouse? I've tried ADHD coach and stimulants (he hated how emotionally blunt/apathetic I became)...So my questions are also tailored to people with ADD who can effectively communicate- what strategies made that effective? If it's not even possible, I'll get divorced now and save him from having to deal with this, I just need to know... It's not an anger issue for me, I don't get angry. I'm about to start Strattera, hoping that could help with conversations.
Please focus on the communication as other issues are not the deal breaker- we both contribute equally financially, we set aside every week to date each other, & we're equally divided in the chores...none of this changes the fact that I forget details of conversations. I have no doubt that if someone were to fire me questions about my spouse, I would do a very good job of answering them accurately (he agrees to this). Despite agreeing to this, he repeatedly says how he feels like I don't even know him after all these years, feels like we're talking for the first time. It's like the movie 50 First Dates every day.
Thanks for your help, much appreciated