Examples of ADD/ADHD behaviors that show that someone is ABLE TO LOVE AND PUT SOME EFFORT toward connection and partnership:
1. He has set up multiple systems for remembering things so that he is taking some responsibility for what he knows he doesn't automatically think of and do. ie: Time spent working up a budget between income and monthly bills that he MAKES HIMSELF reminding himself daily/weekly. Then pays the bills and discusses finances with you. He has a work list with priorities attached and DOES the #1 thing on that list.
2. He has set up automatic withdrawals for savings and retirement.
3. He asks family members how they are doing every day and starts just as many sincere conversations as they do.
4. He lets his spouse/loved one know where he is every day and invites them to keep in touch because he wants to connect and have them in his thoughts and life.
5. He says good morning and good night and hello and goodbye each and every time he wakes/sleeps/leaves/arrives.
6. AND MOST IMPORTANT - He subtly does things that prove that he thinks of his family. ie: He will hurry when he knows someone is waiting for him so that the wait is as small as it needs to be. HIS SPOUSE HAS THE INNATE FEELING INSIDE THAT HE CAN BE TRUSTED AND DEPENDED ON AND THAT IF THERE IS A SUBJECT NEEDING DISCUSSION, HE WILL BE HAPPY TO DISCUSS AND COME TO A CONSENSUS AS PARTNERS.