my partner lives with me and began taking adderall again in may. he has always known of his add and always been on different medications or taken breaks with no medications. he's in his 30's. he was up front with his add when we met. he was a loving, beautiful man and i fell for him totally. since may, his behavior has changed 180 degrees and that seems to coorelate with his increase in adderol. he began w/ 40mg a day...he was intense/standoffish, just being in the same room with him, he kind of bristled. talking to him i was on eggshells. i did not know what was going on and because i didnt make the connection to medication, i thought it was something inside our relationship. in july he added 20 more 20mg pills to his intake and started staying out late at night after work and not doing anything with me as a couple. so at that time he had 80 20mg's of adderall and was finnished with them in less than a month. he then got 30 more and those were gone in ten days. now he's gone to a new doctor, gotten a script for 60 30mg as well as an additional medication--vivance. the doctor was concerned for his racing pulse but gave him the medication anyway. at night his heart races faster than ive ever heard someones. his intense behavior has bordered on volitile to hostile in these last weeks. he works until midnight, then comes in late-2..3..4 am..does his own thing in the house, bathes and eventually comes to bed around 4/5 am. he has nothing to say, not even 5 minutes to connect with me--either at night or during the day. he sleeps just up to the time he needs to be at work. if i try to connect with him or talk to him when he comes in so late, hes angry, confrontational and hostile. he takes a tone of voice with me that is infuriating. i pay all the bills, take care of the house and, because he is stressed with his own pressures, i dont ask him for much. i get angry at the fact that he disrupts my sleep, doesnt do anything with me--and we are talking months..inst available emotionally and just beside myself w frustration that he is making no acknowledgement of these things or discounts their reality if i try to gently let them know they are hurting me. in fact, being hurt is the one way to ignite his rage. it has become beyond painful to be around this man i love so much.
his behavior patten is whack. he completely starves us as a couple, spends no time with me in or out of the house, has no interest in physical affection, then is full of rage when i ask/inquire with him about these things or say i really miss him and need to spend time with him. he blames me for his rage, holes up in another bedroom, leaves the house without speaking to me. writes me how much he loves me and would never do or say anything intentionally to hurt me. yet the cycle continues night after night. i asked him to leave 2 nites ago. he did. i have not heard from him since and do not know where he is staying.
please tell me that i have done something reasonable in asking him to leave.
does anyone have experience with a partners aggression on adderall? or with them increasing their dosage to a point where it is effecting the relationship this bad? yes, i have told him at different times that this drug is wrecking us and i am worried he will hurt himself. but he is in denial. do i speak to another friend of his about my concern? my partner doesn't think there is any problem. there is clearly a massive problem. it has all but destroyed us but it may be putting him at risk for od or heart attack. he has had shallow breath at times, sweating, some signs of taking to much. i need to know how to approach it with maturity for the highest productive outcome.