I have posted my fair share of rants against my H out of frustration and nowhere else to rant. But it occurred to me ranting is not solving anything. Thinking positively is the only way I can survive. Also, I am sure at least one of my kids will have ADHD so I might as well start learning how to deal now. I used to work with people with disabilities and while at the time ADHD was not a disability we worked with they taught us other "adaptive techniques" for teaching these individuals how to ski with their particular disability. So I thought why not have a forum topic where we list out techniques that have helped us? ONLY LIST TECHNIQUES THAT HAVE HELPED YOU PLEASE! I want this to be a positive forum.
Please list an issue you were challenged with and how you adapted and found a solution to deal with that issue so you were both happy with the outcome. Example: Scheduling, finances, communication, chores, help with the kids, hygiene, etc... I will go first.
Finances. PROBLEM: was not paying all bills each month due to not managing finances well, losing bills etc..., making risky financial decisions or impulse buying. SOLUTION-I put my kids in daycare and got a decent paying job with good benefits. I stopped doing his business's bookkeeping which made me nuts. I made a budget of the household bills and showed my H how much it cost us to live each month and told him how much he needs to give me each month to cover this cost (1/2) . I told him if he gives me his half I will make sure all bills are paid for the house each month and not discuss finances with him till the next year I make a budget. He can choose to spend any extra money other than his half the way he wishes or give to me to pay down debt, but it is his choice. He is in charge of paying his own personal bills (traffic tickets, credit card, hunting, fishing etc..) and his biz bills. I do not keep track if he does this or not I just manage the household stuff. I more secure knowing I have a roof over my head, health insurance, and car insurance and he feels less stressed for the same reason and a bonus I do not nag him anymore. If he wants a big purchase item I remind him that it is not part of the budget thus it comes out of his own money and not the money he gives me each month (he usually ends up not purchasing). We also have separate bank accounts but we have access to each other's if needed in an emergency. We have been doing this two years now and it is working great!