ADHD and Adult Bedwetting

Does anyone have any experience with husband who wets the bed when he gets stressed out?  He has been diagnosed but hasn't started any meds and this has been going on for quite some time and he understandably doesn't want to talk to the doctor about it.  I know he is embarrassed by it but I'm not sure how I should handle it.

ebb and flow's picture

I've never personally heard

I've never personally heard that the two are linked but what I have heard is that adult bed wetting can be caused by sleep disorders, which people with ADHD may experience. (ie- night terrors, apnea, etc) And that it can signify a more serious issue like an enlarged prostate and/or bladder infection, kidney problems, etc...

I feel for your husband, as I can only imagine how embarrassing it may feel... But, it may be in his best interest to talk to his doctor about it... or even a therapist (if its caused by emotional issues, stress).

Maybe you can sit down with him and gently say that although it may be an embarrassing situation to mention to a doctor/therapist, it may be easily remedied by finding out the core issue that is causing it. And that once the reason its happening is found, you can work on making it go away or finding better ways to deal with altogether. 

If you can, I'd sincerely let him know that it doesn't change the way you feel about him in any way, only that you are concerned for his well being...

I'm definitely no expert but I hope that helps a little!

Thank you for your reply.  I

Thank you for your reply.  I don't think it is a physical problem because it follows his stress and depression.  He will wear a pad to bed but like so many other things in our life it is only if I buy them and remind him about it otherwise it is like he is oblivious to the issue until the next morning then he seems really sad and even more depressed.  I talked to him again about seeing a urologist about it and he seems sure it will get better on its own.  I don't mind remembering for him i just wish there was something I could do to help, I know it really bothers him, its 1000 miles away from the tough guy that he portrays to the rest of the world.

ebb and flow's picture

That's so sad... :( I totally

That's so sad... :( I totally feel for him. It's gotta be so hard...

It just seems like something you have to keep gently letting him know you're concerned about until it motivates him enough to get it checked out/talk to a therapist about. 

Maybe you can buy some of those large square hospital pads to place under his lower half so that you don't need to remind him to put on the pad at night. If he continues to forget the pad (as it is not your responsibility to remind him) and he wets himself, the discomfort of it may eventually motivate him to get help and then at least the under padding is there to protect the sheets. I know it depresses him when he wakes up... but I'm not sure what else you could do to sort of live "normally" and take yourself out of this equation (as he does not wish to get help for the issue at this time). It may sound a little insensitive and that's not what I mean by it... but if he refuses to get some coping strategies for this issue you need to get some! You know? Is there someone YOU can go and talk to about it? Some therapist who may be able to give you more insight and coping strategies?

He really is unintentionally putting you between a rock and a hard place because although you know he's depressed about it and embarrassed, it's not a comfortable situation for you either! I'd feel so anxious each time I would have to remind him to put on a pad knowing the emotion that it must stir in him... :/

I find, through my experience with ADD, they need gentle repetitive reminders/conversations before they eventually get motivated to do things. I'm sure beyond the embarrassment, getting help for his situation would be no different than any other issue surrounding ADD.