ADHD and Aspergers

Hi! My name is Jessica and I e been married to my ADHD husband for over three years now. He was diagnosed at a young age, and I, too, was diagnosed with ADHD as well as Aspergers. I've been reading "the ADHD effect on marriage" and it feels like the book was written about us. I was wondering though if anyone else here, particularly non-ADHD spouses, has been diagnosed with Aspergers? I feel like having Aspergers magnifies some of these symptoms times ten. I misunderstand a LOT; I take many things just as they are said to me; very literally. This usually ends up in heated arguments with my husband who is very sarcastic and is always "just kidding." I thrive on structure and organization- something truly lacking on his end due to the ADHD symptoms. He use to take medication when he was little and didn't like the side-effects and so refuses to take meds now. I'm not sure how committed he is to behavior change; right now he doesn't feel like working on the marriage. I'm heartbroken and am not sure what to do except pray, read my books, go to counseling, and make every effort to change my responses and general behavior to his ADHD symptoms. He goes to counseling with me and is very open there, but seems to just leave the discussion with the counselor (I see little to no effort back home in between appointments). Does anyone else out there have Aspergers? How does it affect your marriage? What are your coping strategies? I could really use some encouragement right now! Thanks in advance. ~Jessica