Submitted by Psween on 08/28/2021.
Hi, first post. I and my wife agree that it is likely that I have ADHD and/or Executive functioning disorder, to some degree. I have never been formally evaluated or diagnosed. I am also heavily involved in aviation as an engineer, mechanic, and pilot, although my flying is as a hobby, not a career. The FAA views an ADHD diagnosis as an automatic disqualifier for holding a pilot's license. There is no reasonable way that I know of to pass an FAA physical with a diagnosis on my record. I do want to find out how to better manage my syptoms, as I feel my marriage is suffering, but feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place with my passion, my wife, and the FAA. Any other pilots here, or other good advice? Thanks,
Patrick
Seems wrong to conceal your ADHD
Submitted by adhd32 on
Obviously there are reasons that the FAA excludes people who have the condition.
Are you a threat?
Submitted by c ur self on
You and your wife think you have? Well you probably need to know for sure (professional diagnosis)....By writing this post it's obvious you are aware of what you are, and have been making important (a priority) in this life....There are many things that interest us, excite us etc....But, if we choose ( it's definitely a choice, adhd or not) to place self interest ahead of our spouses, and our marital responsibilities, then we don't deserve our spouses, adhd or not...Period...A committed and engaging life, deserves the same, for the beauty of the relationship to bloom and last.....
If you know you are a safe pilot, who has the mental capacity to do the right things....I wouldn't concern myself to much about it....If you know in your own heart that your a threat, then why would you put your life and others in jeopardy...It' simple, just do the right thing.....
c
Which is most important?
Submitted by 1Melody1 on
I have been the wife of a man with ADHD and he chose other things over improving our marriage many times. A diagnosis could lead to medication and other treatments that could improve or save your marriage. To your wife, the choice to not get diagnosed says, "flying is more important to me than our marriage."
That aside, perhaps there are some ways to improve the marriage. You would have to address the specific sources of her unhappiness - whether it is the division of chores and mental load or the amount of time you spend together, etc. You could do this without a diagnosis by implementing behavioral changes, reminder systems, tons of other ADHD hacks and even hiring an ADHD or life coach that would work with you without a diagnosis.
Overall though, the others who have commented that perhaps the FAA has the rule for a reason are correct. Those with ADHD as a general rule do encounter more traffic incidents and it makes sense that the same would translate to air. You may be the best, most focused pilot where the ADHD is actually a benefit to you because you're in the hyperfocus zone when you fly. Perhaps the blanket rule is extraordinarily unfair to you. And that really sucks if that's the case, however, it is reality. If you could still be a mechanic and engineer and explore your passion in those ways, while also addressing your marriage with a diagnosis, maybe there will be some happy middle ground there somewhere.
Best of luck!