ADHD and Aviation

Hi, first post. I and my wife agree that it is likely that I have ADHD and/or Executive functioning disorder, to some degree. I have never been formally evaluated or diagnosed. I am also heavily involved in aviation as an engineer,  mechanic, and pilot, although my flying is as a hobby, not a career. The FAA views an ADHD diagnosis as an automatic disqualifier for holding a pilot's license. There is no reasonable way that I know of to pass an FAA physical with a diagnosis on my record. I do want to find out how to better manage my syptoms, as I feel my marriage is suffering, but feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place with my passion, my wife, and the FAA. Any other pilots here, or other good advice?  Thanks,